Wednesday, December 24, 2014

I Needed You To Know.

Heads up:  I am going to get rambly and sentimental.  

I always tend to get reflective around this time of year.  I just got home a little while ago from gorging my face off eating the 7 fishes with my family.  Christmas Eve is my favorite food day of the year.  Christmas Day is my favorite breakfast day because my mom (who is sleeping over) makes bacon and eggs for me and my sister.  I am a terrible cook, so getting to eat this kind of comfort food with my family is very special to me.  There are a lot of things that are special to me. 

2014 was a very hard year for me. You guys know I very rarely talk about personal issues, but it was really interesting because so many of you could tell when I was really struggling (even if I didn't say anything).  It's interesting that you guys know me even though we've never met.  You all were a constant source of encouragement and HUGE motivation to just keep swimming.  You guys made me laugh, you made me cry (appreciatively), you made me happy, and you made my channel with me.  I can't tell you what it means to have all of you with me on this journey, and you will never know how deeply honored I am to be able to work with alongside you all.  

2014's lows included being sort of bullied by someone from one of the top 3 television networks in America (when I wouldn't agree to let them into my home without giving me any information about anything they were going to show in an interview).   I lost the person I considered my best friend to manipulation and betrayal---I had to face the facts that the person I considered my hero (and would have trusted with my sister's life) wasn't who I thought they were and wouldn't be a part of my life.  People in my family became ill, and some had/have some very serious health issues to contend with.  Life happens.  :/

But you know what else?  Life happens!  I got to have awesome interviews with people who were not only respectful of ASMR, but also of my boundaries (one of which I consider a really awesome friend now coughJonathancough).  I made new friends---some I have no idea how I went so long without having them in my life.  My existing friendships became SO much stronger when I went to them for help.  I realized that I could trust more than one person with me, and as odd as it may sound, it made me stronger.  I have been making the most of every available moment with my family, and I have cherished our moments together.  And I got to keep making videos with you guys---the Falcors to my Atreyu.  Pulling me out of the swamps when I am down, and flying high with me when I'm happy.  

There are a million affirmations I could say to you right now to try and tell you that no matter how bad things get, you can get through them---but they are just words on your screen---easy to read and sometimes very hard to feel.  I wish all of you happiness and good health.  For what it's worth, I am going to keep trying to give you tingles, smiles, laughter, relaxation, rest, and a sanctuary from the world when it gets too loud, because I want to help you as much as you have helped me.  We have never met, but we are going through life together.  It's happening.  We are growing up with each other.  We are going to struggle, we are going to fall, we are going to fail, we are going to feel completely broken---and we are going to fight, and get back up, and put our pieces back together.  We're going to do this over and over because we're human, and we're vulnerable, and resilient, and wondrous.  I can't do much, but I can try my best to help you in the best way I know how, and the way I love, and I promise you I will never stop trying for you all.  Haha it sounds so dramatic, but I don't know any other way to say it.  

I have no idea what the future holds, but I am excited to embark on 2015 with the greatest group of people on the internet.  You all have given me the greatest gifts in my life these past two years, and I will always try to repay you for it through my videos.  I am so proud of all we've accomplished thus far (I will make a blog post soon of what we've done together), and I know that we can do more.  We are shaping the dialogue about ASMR, and we are pioneering a new genre that is going to have a huge presence in nearly all forms of media one day (that's my bet at least)---and one that is helping literally millions of people now.  Think about that.  My videos wouldn't exist without you.  This is a group effort, a team endeavor, and therefore you have a hand in helping every person who benefits from ASMR content.  Thank you, my fellow adventurers.

Happy Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and Happy Life.  See you in the future!  We'll go together.  :)

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

ASMR Was Mentioned In The 200th Episode Of The Wired UK Podcast!

Hey guys! ASMR got a mention in Wired UK Podcast's 200th episode!!! If you start at 15:44 you will hear Nate (the host) speaking highly of ASMR and playing a clip from my Cat Lady Role Play! I think it's awesome when people are open minded (and in this case very positive) about ASMR, so if you want something cool to listen to---or if you just want to stop by the podcast page and say hiiii from the ASMR community (we can be the friendliest welcome wagon on the internet) and congratulate Nate and his team on their 200th episode, please feel free to do so .

Saturday, December 13, 2014

My 200th ASMR video is coming. Whoa.

Hey guys, I wanted to let you know a new vid is coming. It was brought to my attention that it's going to be my 200th vid, and I have been feeling a lot of pressure to complete the Bob Ross one, so I want it to be the 200th video. It's A LOT more work intensive than I thought it would be. I am using two mics and two cameras, among layered moments, so please bear with me. I could have done a sound slice to hold you guys over, but I want to get this done. Thanks for understanding, thanks for sticking with me through 200 videos (whoa my gosh!!!!), and I am sorry for the delay.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Making It Rain Tingles Part 2! Looking for new ASMR content creators? Here are some more I recommend!

Last week I started a little blog series that I am going to try my best to keep up with.  In it, I share other content creators' vids that work for me (about 10 at a time) to possibly help you find new sources for ASMR.  Here is another batch for your viewing pleasure!  I hope you find some new content creators that work for you!

Ardra Neala's BEAUTIFUL "Binaural Psionic Initiation Role Play"

AnkieAsmr Tingling's "Getting Your Eyebrows and Eyelashes Colored Role Play"

ASMR Chess' "The Fundamental Chess Tactics For Beginners"

ASMR Angel's Cranial Nerve Examination Role Play

asmrbebexo's "Super Up-Close Whisper: Words Beginning With Q"

Asmr Vids' "Sculpting Toy 3"

amalzd's "Dead Sea Nails Saleswoman Role Play"

asmrdidibandy's "Doctor Role Play"

ASMRanthony's "Hands In Your Hair"

asmrAlice's "Sci-fi Research Role Play"

Bonus!  Arda Neala's "Krampus Role Play"

I hope you enjoy this week's picks!  More to come!  Remember, if you don't see someone you love up here, it doesn't mean I don't love them too---I just can't put hundreds of vids in one blog post, or people will feel overwhelmed and be less likely to check out some new faces.  You are always welcome to post your faves and anyone you think I should check out in the comments to share with me and each other.  

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Cutebunny992 is back! An Original Gangster of ASMR Returns!

The return of the bunny!  

ASMR has grown a lot in the last 5 years.  There are hundreds of thousands (maybe even millions at this point) of people who watch ASMR videos now.  Some of you might have been around a handful of years ago, and might remember Cutebunny.  Some of you might have no idea what I am talking about.  

Cutebunny is an OG of ASMR.  She was one of the first channels I ever subscribed to (waaaaaaaay before I became a content creator).  Cutebunny made a role play of something I had never heard of before---something called a "cranial nerve examination."  It triggered my face off.  Hundreds of times.  Even now, years later, it still triggers me.

Cutebunny's name is Marianne, and she is responsible for the popularization of Cranial Nerve Examination Role Plays.  Her CNE RP triggered hundreds of thousands of people without a binaural microphone, without an HD camera, without any special effects, back when ASMR videos on Youtube weren't common at all, and the genre was in its infancy.  It was just her voice and her movements, and it worked wonders.  

Some terrible things happened to her channel, and Cutebunny disappeared.  Had she stayed, I have no doubts that she would have hundreds of thousands of subscribers.  Some people uploaded her videos to Youtube, and even then, they garnered over a million views in total.  One could argue that her introduction and popularization of the cranial nerve exam role play helped contribute to the growth of ASMR as a whole.  CNE's are among the most common, effective, and popular types of ASMR videos, and this woman had a direct influence on that.

Her CNE wasn't the only video she made that attracted obscene amounts of people to ASMR, and inspired hundreds of content creators (myself included).  You might also know of a video called "Let Me ASMR You" that has inspired other ASMRtists to make their own versions.  She was a prolific content creator who had a nice variety of videos (including some great teaching role plays, and videos in Greek as well).  It has been three years since she disappeared.  I am so happy to share that she's back!

Cutebunny understands ASMR, and seems to be naturally inclined to trigger it.  I think she deserves a huge warm welcome back to the community that she helped build and was forced to leave.  Please check out her channel Cutebunny992 and say hello to someone who (though she may not even realize it) is partly responsible for making the ASMR video genre what it is today.  I hope that she stays, and I can't wait to see what she brings to the table in the future.  

Monday, November 10, 2014

Looking for new ASMR content creators? Here are some I recommend! Making It Rain Tingles (Part 1)

I am subscribed to around 400 ASMRtists (atm).  I love having lots of options and seeing the different ways so many unique and awesome people make content to trigger others.  I thought I would maybe start sharing some videos/channels from other content creators that work for me.  Obviously I cannot talk about every single content creator in one blog post, so I will do a handful or two at a time.  Feel free to leave anyone you've found and highly recommend in the comments!

Accidentally Graceful's amaaaaazing short ASMR film "The Shift"

17MissCoco's "Making Nails"

17MissCoco's "Follow The Pen"

albinwhisperland's "Morticia Adams Does Your Makeup"

ASMR BEARD's "Trigger Words"

ASMR Barber's Channel Trailer

ArtSMR Dianne's "Strass Stone Book Tapping"

ASMattR's "999 Happy Haunts" ASMR Collaboration

asmr Yacyama's "Covering Your Ears With Binaural Fizzing Sounds"

Air Light ASMR's "Multilayered Tapping, Scratching, Unintelligible ASMR"

I think ten is a good number to start with.  If you don't see someone you love up here, it doesn't mean I don't love them too---I just want to pace it on the blog, so people don't feel inundated.  I think this way people can explore some (possibly) new material they've not seen yet, and I will try to update the blog frequently with these kinds of posts so you can discover more.  You are always welcome to post suggestions for other channels in the comments for others (and myself) to discover.  Happy Viewing!  :D

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Hanging out with you on Omegle!

Hi friends!  I loved doing this, and I would like to do more of this in the future with you all! I will keep uploading our sessions to my blooper channel.  If you want to join me one night on Omegle for a little bit, keep an eye on my Twitter or Facebook.  I will give notice in both places so I can reach as many of you as possible.  This was so fun---I was soooooo nervous, but everyone was incredibly nice and funny.  Thank you to all those who participated.  See you soon!  :D

My Twitter

My Facebook

My Blooper Channel

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Congratulations to the Winners!

Congratulations to WorkerOfTheHarvest for winning the 3Dio mic, and Jordan Lynn and Cali ASMR for winning the sleepphones!

If are reading this, and you are one of the winners, please keep an eye on your Youtube inbox---I will be messaging you shortly to make sure everything is okie dokie with eligibility, and if so, getting started on hooking you up with your prize!

Thank you to every single person who has joined me on this Youtube adventure (not just for the giveaway, but for the journey as a whole).  You guys mean a lot to me, and I look forward to making you tingle and smile and the future  <3.  

Saturday, September 27, 2014

New ASMR Role Play Idea. Want To Contribute? :D

Hey everyone! I was watching a Youtuber named jacksepticeye yesterday, and he gave me an idea I want to try for a role play. He does a series on his channel called "Drawing Your Tweets" where people tweet him silly things to draw. I would like to do this as well---but I would like to turn this into a Bob Ross-esque role play. So if you would like to participate, please send me a tweet at  with the hashtag #BobRossMyTweet and something you would like to see me botch up drawing as "Feather Ross." It could be anything from "an apple" to "Dark Feather riding a dolphin" (but nothing malicious or raunchy). If it's well received, I think we could make it a series I do every now and then, and maybe I can give away the paintings/drawings as giveaways (I don't know if anyone would even want them, cause I guarantee they will be awful, haha). I thought this would be a fun way for us to interact, for you guys to be a part of a role play, and a new way for me to give you tingles.  Nothing is set in stone, but I wanted to put out the idea and get things rolling so I can feel it out.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Thank you. My birthday was very special because of you all.

Thank you so much for the beautiful birthday wishes. You all are more significant to me than you know. I am finishing up a video tonight that will try to explain what you and these interactions mean to me, and just trying my best not to lose it on camera (curse the mob cutting onions in my living room). If I could hug you all I would.

Monday, September 8, 2014

One Of Our Own Has Written A Book! Congratulations, JustAWhisperingGuy!

Hey everyone! One of our own community has just published a hilarious and super helpful book called "Hardcore Self Help: F**ck Anxiety."  

Many of you know JustAWhisperingGuy. Robert has been my friend for almost two years now, and he's been an invaluable resource for me in the past. Whenever I would get too critical of myself, or want to scrap something, Robert was behind the scenes cheering me on, telling me not to doubt myself, and letting me know when I was being unfair and too hard on myself. He's also a brilliant and driven person, who at only 25 years old will have a PhD in psychology within a year. I know a lot of us experience anxiety (some of us all too regularly), so I thought I would share something that might really help you---made by someone who has really helped me.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Cool News: My Voice Was In A Movie Trailer!

Hey everyone! I wanted to share something with you: My voice was used in a movie trailer! That's my humming and breathing! When I released my humming sound slice, I was contacted by a movie studio, and here is the first trailer they've used it in!

I can't wait to show my mom and grandparents. It was a really cool experience! They asked me for more content, so I might be in another trailer one day or they might not use it at all---but either way, it's a pretty neat thing that I am stoked about (especially with being able to share it with my grandparents, cause they will understand a movie trailer much more than me dressing in a blue wig and pretending to be an evil candy queen hahaha).

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Guys. An Amazing Viewer Did Some Impressive Analysis of Mystical Feather.

Melanie's Fan Theory About Mystical Feather

It's beautiful.  Do you have any theories?  Whatever they may be, she's def coming back.  Brace yourself.  Motives are coming.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Are you an artist? Would you like to be featured in one of my ASMR role plays?

Hey guys! I have been playing with an idea for a role play for a little over a month now. If you have a deviantART account, or art site where you make your own art, or are an artist on Etsy, etc, and you are interested in having it displayed in one of my videos (an art curator role play or something similar), please let me know in the comments here.  Feel free to post your site too. I am thinking of doing a role play where I show some viewers' art. You guys know I LOVE art. I am always looking to do new kinds of ASMR role plays, and I would love to do one that includes some of you.  Please read this post carefully for details about this potential project.
    •  You would need to be willing to give a piece of your art to me to use in a video---so I would need your permission in writing (I would tell you exactly what you need to write according to Youtube's copyright policies) to use your art piece.  You would def need to give me something that doesn't conflict with copyrights.  I don't mess around with copyrights---I will not use anything that could jeopardize my channel.  
    • Depending on how many art pieces I use for the role play, your art may be featured anywhere from a few minutes to many minutes---I cannot give you a concrete set of time in which it will be on screen.
    • The art MUST be yours---please do not volunteer other people's art---I will not use it.
    • I won't be able to use art that could get my video flagged (violent or sexual images). 

    • The art can be prints, jewelry, sculpture, cloth, masks, metal, stone, etc---I am really interested in using different types so I can create different sounds in the video (using my nails, or a pointer, etc).
    • You would need to be willing to ship your art and pay for shipping.  I will not be able to ship it back to you, so please make sure you have something you are comfortable giving away.  If something is dear to you, or very valuable, please do not offer it up for this video---I know what art can mean to a person---I don't want you parting with anything you love.
    • I won't have any pieces coming to my personal address---I am WAY too cautious with my privacy to be comfortable with that---so I will have arrangements in place to have them shipped to another state/states, then a contact/contacts will get them to me.
    • I would credit you at the end of the video (including linking to your site), and on my blog. I would LOVE it if you could even give me a paragraph or two about yourself as an artist and your art to read in the role play (so I sound like a knowledgeable curator :p), so please think about what you would want me to say publicly about you and your piece.  

    For this first art curator role play (if it happens) I will select a handful, or two handfuls of people, but if people like the role play and find it triggers them, we can make it a reoccurring series using more people. 

    I will contact certain people who are interested in participating and get more information to ascertain eligibility (copyrights and shipping info). If you do not hear from me, please do not feel slighted---though I would love to use everyone, I have to do this in a way that 1. Doesn't overwhelm me or my resources and 2. Still keeps ASMR as the main focus.  Ultimately I am doing this to trigger people, and I don't want to lose sight of that while trying to coordinate with multiple people.  

    This is still just an idea, and I am not guaranteeing that I will follow through with it.  So far, the response on Facebook has been a very positive one, so I am extending it here.  So if this is something you would be interested in, please leave a comment, include your site if you want, and I will take a look when I can (comp access is still limited).  Thank you for even considering this idea.   I think this could be really neat, and I would love to be able to include some viewers in this way.  

    Friday, July 4, 2014

    "There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing."---Aristotle

    A lot of you guys on facebook know I have been working on this blog entry for a bit. It was actually requested from quite a bit of people (ASMRtists and viewers). I mulled about it, and I finally decided to publish it today.  I hurt my back recently lifting something heavy like an idiot (used my upper back instead of my legs).  I am currently icing it down with a frozen bag of spinach, and using my sister's laptop to write this.  I logged on, found the standard number of trolling/hate messages to me, and thought "I'm stuck on my couch. My back just became the Duke of Douchebaggary.  I can't do anything.  I'm going to do this."

    If you display yourself on the internet, you are almost certainly going to come into contact with WTFery.  ASMRtists are no exception to this.  While there are some super thick skinned and witty troll slayers in our wonderful little niche (shout out to the gorgeous and talented Amal---one of the best brains around town, and one of the most unflappable people I have ever encountered), many people enter the community not knowing what to expect or how to handle what is said to them.  Even seasoned ASMRtists can be wounded by internet shenanigans.  As a result, many leave, take hiatuses, close their channels, or take things to heart.  So for this entry, I want to talk to you about what kind of things might be said to you, why they are being said, and the options you have upon receiving them/finding them. By no means is my word law---I am just a dorky girl who talks to her camera for hours in her pajama pants---and I am going to speak to you from my experiences.  I am going to give you examples of things that have been said to me, but I don't want this entry to be something that makes you mad or sad.  I have cherry picked some of my favorite comments/messages that I have used to cheer up other ASMRtists, or just crack me up.  I want it to be something that can make you laugh, and perhaps inspire you to keep trucking no matter what someone says to you about your endeavors.  Let's give this a shot, shall we?

    What I am going to say might sound harsh, but stick with me, alright?  You are going to be judged.  I am not saying that you need to be complacent with the judgments, or that people are right to judge---I am saying it's going to happen.  The possibilities are endless:  If you don't show your face, people will attack you for your anonymity.  If you show your face, people will call you an attention whore---heck, even if you just show a picture of yourself, you can get called a narcissist.
    Ex.  "Did you REALLY need to paste a picture of yourself on this video? Are you that needy?? It's a damn audio only asmr vid, you could of put some relaxing picture of a pond, or lake, or anything, f***ing eagles flying in a shape of a unicorn. But instead it's of you cam whoring. What? Did you think we'd forget who makes the videos /u/sailorchell?  Like come on, this comes off so attention seeking it hurts, or like gender manipulation. It's almost as bad as those YouTube vids that have a pair of tits as thumbnails for a video like "here is a list of my fave movies". Vying for views with shallow actions just turn people off. We want genuine, sincere asmrtists, not someone who is basically that kind of girl who you'd see taking a sexy fullbody shot just to show off a new mug she got."

     If you are a male, there are people that will attack your sexuality. If you look nice, people are going to say you are using your sex appeal to get views.  If you have breasts, there are people that will call you a slut.   If you have a high voice, people will call you fake. If you have a deeper voice, people will say you are using your sexuality to get views.  If you are confident, people will call you a bitch.  If you are unapologetic about doing what you want, people will call you arrogant.  If you are open about your life, people will use the info to hurt you, or question your character.  If you are shy/introverted, people will tell you you don't belong on the internet.  You might hear these things, and you might hear them often. It doesn't matter how well meaning you are or how many subscribers you have---the dark side of the internet can be like a bouncing little demon baby, full of unconditional malice, and there will be days that it wants you to be its playmate.

     You might encounter trolling.  A troll post is one that's intended to get a rise out of you and/or your viewers.  They're looking to incite an emotional response.  Many times you will see them on loads of other ASMR channels trying to goad people into interacting with them.
    Ex:. "F*** you *****. You're so annoying. I am a dude btw, so you know I'm not just some jealous ho; this is a genuine statement."
    You might get creepy messages.  This is when someone tries to engage you in an unwelcome sexual way, or trick you into fulfilling a fetish request.  It is important to note that everyone's definition of a creep is subjective, and not all comments that have to do with your appearance are made with the intent to engage with you in a sexual way or objectify you, not all fetish requests are made in a disrespectful way, or that any sexual comment is made by a creep.  What matters is what your own personal boundaries are---unwelcome is key.
    Ex: "i would really like to stick my ***** inside your *** while your ********. that would be swell.... i bet you have sexy feet too. lets take ***** together baby. then we can **** like bunny rabbits.i wanna suck ur toes and lick ur ***."

    You might find there are people who loathe you.  A hater is someone who vehemently doesn't like you.  They don't know you, but they've convinced themselves they've got you pegged.  Haters are loyal.  They're the ones subscribed to you just to thumbs down your vid.  They're the ones who make a point to down vote you on reddit no matter what you post.  They comment on your vids/threads to tell you how inadequate you are.  You exist, and they want to let you/everyone else know how much you suck for existing.
    Ex:  "Look at this white knight party you have going for yourself. You must be very pleased. I love how they all march over here to come and prove a few theories right about our rotund, reigning asmr queen. My shock is pretty low over the fact you've pretty much proved a comment I made last night right. I think it's well known by now that you read everything and anything to do with you. Got to fill that lack of self esteem and inferiority complex somehow."

    There are people who will insult you because you/your videos don't fulfill their individual wants/cater to them in the way they think you should.  These people don't care that you aren't creating content for other people, because you should be doing everything you can to please them specifically. If it doesn't work for them, that means you don't work at all.  These are not people offering constructive criticism (constructive criticism is valuable and can help you grow as a content creator)---if you aren't acting in accordance with their wishes, they can attack your character, discredit your work, and sometimes even threaten you.
    Ex:  "It's funny how a certain "supporter" of my channel can find the time to manage her own channel and read through her facebook, and yet can't find the time to "support" my own work. If your just going to tell me something I want to hear just to make me happy so I'll shut up for about to seconds, I will be incredibly disappointed. Yeah those 22 thousand subs of yours are blind to how you really are. I think its pretty obvious your aren't creating anything to help anyone. You just looking for attention for the least amount of effort. Way to fool about 22 thousand acting like your someone your not..."---a person who didn't like when I declined their many requests to make my channel a commercial for their let's play channel.
    There are some people who can get unhealthily attached to you.  To them, you are not a stranger on the internet making ASMR vids, you are someone they have decided/imagined belongs in their real life.  These are the people who might try to find out where you live.  They watch who you interact with, they ask people they think know you for information about you, etc.  There are some days you might wish they were trolling.
    Ex.   "It makes me a little uncomfortable that you never tell me anything...First, I wanted to let you know that in your last video, in the time light pass through the focus of the camera, causing a violet flashes deform your face to the viewer . I noticed this when passing the video frame by frame...I don't hesitate because of your silence. I felt , however , your signs , your keys , your hints, your little winks. Maybe just see what I want to see. I have so much fear that you don't want to want me!...If I changed my channel was not to deceive you, but to make this exchange between you and me more private."---excerpts from months of letters from someone who created multiple accounts.

    There will be people who won't like how you comment to people.  There are those who won't like if you stand up for yourself or your peers, or even make light of negative comments.  Some people feel like you exist solely for content, and you shouldn't have a voice aside from the function they designate for you.  If you respond to comments/videos in a way they don't approve of, they feel it's a negative reflection of your character.
    Ex.  "Heather I would appreciate clarification. You recently commented on an animal abuser's channel named Jenna Marbles. The woman is pictured shoving a helpless animal into a shower. I reported this video to YouTube and to PETA. You're supposed to be the Anti-Jenna Bush, the Anti-American Sorority Whore. Please tell me you didn't endorse this woman or I'm unsubscribing. You're Morrissey remember? Not Kardashian...You would note that I have unsubscribed from this channel although I have remained with Mariya. The only BS here is from your beloved director who feigns empathy while endorsing albeit impliedly cruelty."

    Not every negative or harsh message/comment is intended to harm.  There will be people that just don't like you or your content cause something about you or your vids don't work for them, and they might let you or others know---but they aren't doing it with the intent to hurt you.  They are just stating their opinions, and while it might not be awesome to hear, it doesn't mean they are "bad."
    Ex.  "I tried to like HeatherFeather but her voice just annoys the crap out of me. I wish it didn't because she seems to produce creative and regular content."

    Why am I telling you all this?  This entry is long, and it might be things you already know, or seem obvious, and/or trivial.  If you watched my Draw My Life, or frequent my blog, you know I'm a spiteful woman who believes that "success is the best revenge," and I believe that people who are trying to hurt you are irrelevant.  But admittedly, I have really thick skin.  Not everyone has thick skin---and even those who do, aren't impervious to being hurt.  If it helps to visualize it this way, think of a mean spirited/unwelcome remark as a paper cut.  Is it going to kill you?  Nope.  Does it hurt?  It can.  Now think of getting bunches of paper cuts every week.  For some people (regardless of subscriber count), they come every day, across multiple mediums.  Eventually for some, it can become a death by a thousand paper cuts (death being a metaphor for closing their channel, or losing their drive to make vids, etc).  People tend to remember the bad more than they remember the good, and it just takes one "cut" to get under your skin.
    SPOILER ALERT:  We know what happens to Drogo...

    I have talked about giving power to people in "You're Not a Purple Frog" and I have talked about recognizing comments as being relevant or irrelevant in "True Life: I am an ASMRtist".  I want to talk about being "selfish" now.  Your channel is an expression of you.  It's your territory.  It's your place to create.  As such, it's important that you like the space you've created for yourself on Youtube.  We make videos for other people, but it's important that you make videos for you first.  Doing what you want, having fun with your ideas, enjoying the time you put into your channel---these are things that keep you driven to produce more.  If you are doing what you love, it's a lot harder for the kinds of negativity you might see to taint your endeavors.  Don't be scared to be "selfish," and try new things, or stick to old things---don't be scared to make yourself happy and comfortable.  It's your time and resources you are putting into your channel---spend them on something you can love.

    Making videos for yourself and to your standards doesn't mean you don't care about your viewers---quite the contrary.  It means you care so much about your viewers that you want to give them the best work you can deliver without compromising yourself.  You aren't going through motions when you make a video.  It means you are giving them genuine efforts with the best attempts you can muster to give them something they can be proud of too---having viewers that are proud to be your viewers means more to you than just numbers.  Taking in the constructive criticism without taking in the nonsense, acknowledging the incredibly important feedback from your viewers, having pride in your accomplishments, investing yourself in your endeavors, enjoying working hard on something, all lend to producing better content for people---the people you WANT watching your channel.  As much as I am proud of my Youtube journey, I am SO proud of the friends and viewers I have---I have said it before, and I'll say it again:  They are some of the best people on the internet.

     Even though some of this might sound like common sense or redundant, I'm not sorry for writing this book of an entry---because there are lots of people in our little niche...and in life in general who think they have to accept/deserve what's thrown at them, or internalize it, or allow it to permeate their real lives in toxic ways.  You are allowed to curate your comments section so people aren't fighting with each other instead of relaxing.  You are allowed to block people.  You are allowed not to care when people don't like you.  You are allowed to be unapologetic for who you are and what you create.  You are allowed to disregard comments, and you are allowed to laugh at them.   You are allowed to make content in the way you see fit.

    The people who find you are effective for them will let you know, and you can take pride in helping an audience that is supportive and kind and there for what you want to do.  You are allowed to be proud of your work.  You are allowed to be proud of yourself.  You are allowed to be happy.  So do what makes you happy.

    I hope that this entry (if you made it this far) made you laugh, smile, feel determined to keep going.  I want to reiterate that I don't know everything.  I don't have all the answers.  I am not an expert or an authority that has any clout or control over the internet.  I have been a Youtuber for a little over a year and half and feel insanely lucky for every experience I have had as one.  I have met so many people I like and so much company that I care about, and I just want to keep seeing you all around the tube.

    Monday, June 16, 2014

    Content Update Concerning My ASMR Channel

    Hello everyone!  Some of you may already know that my comp died.  It doesn't matter what I do, it's never going to bend to my will again. 

    Thankfully with the help of my patrons on Patreon, I am not completely hopeless!  I am able to buy myself a new computer, and while it isn't the dream build we all were hoping for, I'm told it's going to be a pretty great build (thank you so much to those who helped me with the tech advice---I'd be SO lost without you.  Special shout out to Quiettime Tutor).

    So I am working with people and making finalizations on this machine, then it has to get built, and shipped to me. I might pay extra for faster shipping, but it will still take weeks for this new system to get here. Until it gets here and I learn how to navigate it, I am going to be on borrowed time and equipment---using a computer at a friend's house when I can.  I am on someone else's schedule and using equipment that isn't used to video editing and rendering.  This friend is being VERY patient and understanding with me, and I don't want to overstep my bounds by hounding them for their computer after they get home from work.

    So here's what I'm going to be doing:  I am going to put out audio only vids for a while.  Sound Slices, A Dark Feather Sound Slice, some audio only Sound Assortments---stuff like that.  That way, I won't have the extra editing and rendering time for visuals.  As soon as the new comp is up and running, I will be creating regular vids again (I have a role play planned that includes some people you may know that I am excited to get to you).  But until the new rig arrives, I think this is the best way for me to continue to put out content without putting out my friend.

    Because of this change to my access to a comp, I am going to have to schedule my uploads (Youtube has a feature that lets you do that)---which means I won't physically be clicking "Publish" like I normally do.  I am not going to have the same time available to me to respond to comments, so if you see less of me in the comments sections, it's not cause I don't care---it's because I don't have a comp at my fingertips to respond to you---and when I do have a comp to use at my friend's house, I am most likely going to be editing my face off (since I only have it for a limited time).  I don't want you guys to think that I am not reading your comments, or that I don't want to respond.  Engaging with you all has always been something I have enjoyed and had a lot of fun with, and I am going to miss it a bit.  This is simply just a transitional period for equipment, and I will be back to normal as soon as the new comp arrives.

    Thanks for understanding, and again, THANK YOU to everyone who helped me with this (via Patreon, Reddit, messages, advice, time, and encouragement). I appreciate it more than you will ever know.  And I will not forget it.

    I forget nothing.  O_o

    Wednesday, April 30, 2014

    There is an ASMR documentary being made. I think it could do great things.

    Hi everyone. I wanted to make you aware of an endeavor that is happening.

    Braingasm: The ASMR Documentary

    Lindsay Ragone is making a documentary about ASMR. I have talked to this woman, and I can tell you that she LOVES the ASMR community, and has ASMR herself. Her documentary is a personal labor of love for her, and it's something I really want to see this come to fruition. She is trying to incorporate so many different ASMRtists, show the versatility and diversity of the ASMR community, and educate people about what ASMR really is and why it helps millions of people.

    I know there are some of you who will see the name of the documentary and feel protective or concerned about the word "Braingasm." This is the word that people who don't have ASMR associate with ASMR, this is the word that the news harps on to sensationalize their stories, and this is a word that so many people don't understand---so having a documentary of the same title that presents real information about ASMR and the community could be INCREDIBLY beneficial in educating people about who we are and what we do.

    I hope you guys check this out. If you feel inclined to donate to the Kickstarter (Lindsay has paid for ALL filming and traveling expenses from her own pocket, but needs some help to continue), there are different rewards Lindsay is giving out. I just wanted to share this project with you in case you wanted to aid in this positive ASMR endeavor. It's something I support, and I hope even if you can't donate, you will root for it too.

    Monday, April 7, 2014

    I have never gone this long without an ASMR video

    I am so so sorry guys.  This has never happened before.  I have been working on my role play for a week now, and it should have been done days ago---but my comp is being merciless and won't render it correctly.  It's not even an effects heavy video.  I haven't put out another video in between because I honestly don't know that my comp can handle trying to render it at the moment.  I had to go to a friends house tonight to try and salvage my role play.  I am hoping to have it up Tuesday or Wednesday.

    Again, I am so sorry.  As frustrating as it is for you not to have content, it is a million times more frustrating---and DISAPPOINTING---for me not to have my content for you.  I LOVE making videos, and hang ups like this that I have little control over, take a lot of joy from me (through loss of time, effort, and happiness from creating new content).

    I am trying my best.

    Thursday, March 20, 2014

    What I've been working on: the next ASMR role play

    Just wanted to show you guys I am working hard for you. This is my next role play. This is just the audio editing (every line you see is an edit)---as you can see, I haven't even started visuals yet. Thanks for being so patient with me. I don't know if you guys are going to like this one, but I am trying to make it the best I can.

    Saturday, March 15, 2014

    I'm sorry, I won't have my ASMR Role Play out tomorrow.

    Hello everyone. I wanted to have a RP out for you tomorrow. While I was filming last night, I got very sick. You can actually see it happening in my video, and as it got worse, I started to rush through it. I looked at the footage, and I am not happy with it. I am still sick, and won't be able to redo it tonight. I am hoping that I will be well enough to do it over tomorrow night. I will TRY to do a Sound Slice tonight---but I can't promise it, as my head and muscles hurt a lot from my fever, and all I want to do is rest. I HATE not holding to the schedule that I make for myself, so it's very frustrating for me that I don't have a vid for you guys. I apologize. This came upon me very suddenly, and it sucks. 

    Friday, March 14, 2014

    Hint about my next ASMR role play. I promise you won't be able to guess it.

    Okay here is a hint about the role play I hope to have out on Sunday. I used hard boiled eggs, an orange, and a banana in it---I didn't eat any of them, and the role play has nothing to do with food. Good luck guessing this one, mwahahahahahaha.

    If you have 20 mins to spare, perhaps consider spending them doing this?
    Hello everyone! A lot of you know Robert JustAWhisperingGuy, and a lot of you know how hard he has been working toward his PhD. He has finally released his dissertation research survey on internet based therapy. The more people who take the survey the better for his research, so I am sharing it with you all in the hopes you might want to participate, and contribute to something awesome for a tremendously helpful member of our ASMR community.  Robert has helped me a ton, and I know he's helped lots of others in our growing community (both asmrtists and viewers), so I wanted to return the favor and help him with something that he's been working tirelessly on.  This survey takes about 20 minutes and is for adults in the United States only---and at the end you can enter to win $100 to I hope you consider taking it.  Please feel free to share with your social connections as well.  And fun fact:  the one and only VisualSounds created the artwork used in the survey.  I love our little corner of the internet, I really do.  So many people are so helpful and supportive.  :D

    JustAWhisperingGuy's channel (for those who are unfamiliar)

    Wednesday, March 12, 2014

    If you receive an email from someone using my name, please be aware:

     Apparently someone is using my name to try to get personal information out of people. It should go without saying that person is not me---and it should also go without saying that you should not give out ANY banking information or intimate knowledge about yourself to a stranger over the internet---no matter what name they boast, or what kind of incentive they are offering. I would NEVER ask any of you for anything of that nature.  I don't write to individual people asking them for ANYTHING, or offer individual gifts or one on one time---I don't even ask people to subscribe to my channel.  I keep nearly all of my interactions with you guys public.   Any message seeking information that would pertain to your identity or banking info should immediately be regarded as fake and as having malicious intent.
    I was sent this screen cap by a concerned viewer.  This is not from me, nor is it from my account.  Should you get a message like this, do not give it any merit.  

    Monday, February 24, 2014

    ASMR After The Battle: Why I had to take the version I was proud of down, and why I had to reupload.

    Hi everyone.  Only a few people know about what has been happening with my "After The Battle" video, and it's come to a point that I need for everyone to know, because I had to remove it.  The new version can be found here:  


    I uploaded "After The Battle" on December 21/22ish.  It was the result of months of prep and planning, and a straight month of work that was new to me.  It was the first video I ever cried while making:  I had no experience doing visual effects, I was teaching myself using tutorials online---and I would get very frustrated if I couldn't figure something out, or if I messed up something that would look like 2 seconds to you---but really took HOURS to create.  I had to render and rerender clips OVER AND OVER, piece by piece---but I did it, and I was very proud of it.  The response to it was so positive and encouraging, and it made all those hard moments worth it.

    On Dec 23rd I went into my video manager and found something I had never seen before---a notification on "After The Battle" that said "matched third party content."  If you know me, you know I NEVER use material that isn't licensed for free use---and I am meticulous about that (ex: I took down my first upload of the Candy Queen Role Play because a picture of ice cream in the background wasn't creative commons free use licensed, built an entire new background for it, and redid it.  I don't play around with anything that could jeopardize my channel).  So I knew right away that someone had made a mistake in claiming my video.

    Two music networks had put visual content claims on my After The Battle video---on parts of the video I had specifically chosen because they were free use, from an exclusively free use site.  I began to do research about the networks that were claiming my video, and found HUNDREDS of testimonies from people whose videos had been claimed by the same networks.  Claims were made on their original videos, or their original music---even one guy's original documentary he made in the 80's.

    But why would these networks do this?  I kept researching.  This is what I came to understand:  the claims they place on videos keep the videos public---but instead of the content creator getting the revenue from their work, the network gets the revenue. You only get one shot at disputing a claim, but they are given a month from the moment you dispute the claim to even look at your dispute, and should they maintain the claim, you're pretty much out of luck.  They can also put their ads on your video, and direct people to their site.  They don't have to prove the material is theirs in the same way we do if we file a copyright claim---they run programs that sweep youtube videos for anything they might be able to claim, and they take advantage of how hard it is to get support to intervene---so many never had their claims removed.  Essentially it's video hijacking, and they do it all the time---sometimes causing people to lose/leave their channels.

    After I did my research on the practice of what they did and the individual companies that did them, I went to "war."  I wrote Partner Support, the free use site whose license agreement they were breaking by laying claim to free use content, I found the networks' email addresses and headquarters phone numbers, I made phone calls every hour, and I even had their staff making phone calls and emailing on my behalf---because I was not going away until my video was mine again.  After 8-10 hours of relentless correspondence, the claims were lifted.  I was ECSTATIC.  I jumped around and clapped---I even cried a little.

    I thought that I had "won" and I wouldn't have to worry about this again.  I was wrong.

    In the two months that my video has been up, four claims have been placed on it---all on the free use clips in it.  Every time this happens, I have to devote time and energy I would rather be spending any other way to fighting the claims, researching the networks, tracking down contact info, writing to Support, etc.  It causes me a great deal of unwanted stress, and a TON of unwanted anger.  It makes maintaining my channel feel like I have to keep putting out fires, instead of being warmed by all the positive aspects of being a content creator.

    Last night I got my fourth Third Party Claim on After The Battle, and I decided I cannot do this anymore.  I can't continue to have to defend my content in this way.  No one stops these large networks from making these fraudulent claims, and once they do, you're basically at their whim waiting to see what the fate of your content is---cause you no longer have the rights to your work.

    Even though every single claim made to my video was released, I felt more and more helpless.  After defending my content in every way I could, I went into my editing program, pulled up the video I had worked SO HARD on, and edited out every second of free use footage in it.  Did this make me sad?  Yes, very.  Do I think that it's worth it to be able to continue feeling safe and happy about making content?  Absolutely.  

    I hope you all understand why I had to do this.  The video I made with me in it is still 100% intact, just the intro and the "therapy" parts of it are a black screen. I am sorry that the version you get now is "less" than the one I labored over---but I am doing what I think is right to protect my happiness, my time, my energy, and my channel.

    Thanks for reading.