Happy Milestone And 9 Month ASMR Anniversary...so Happy ASMRversary?

In just under 9 months, I have hit a subscriber milestone.  I am beyond happy, and incredibly grateful to every single person that has joined me on this journey thus far.

When I first started making videos, I went into it wanting to give back, but I wanted to do it my way.  I made long videos, and I got quite a bit of criticism for it.  I remember I had a few people in the ASMR subreddit who flat out said they would downvote my videos because they were an hour or more long, and that I must "be an attention whore with no life" for doing what I do.  I didn't stop though...in fact...I think I made an hour and half video after someone said that, mwahahaha. http://media.tumblr.com/7a409ff19beb2546be5efc78d7921675/tumblr_inline_mlvk76AZNd1qz4rgp.gif

I have definitely changed a lot since I started my channel. I have gotten so much more comfortable being myself in front of the lens, because so many of you have made my channel a warm and welcoming place.   Recently, I have really enjoyed sharing who I am with you guys (as far as things I love).  It's been so much fun fangirling about Kingdom Hearts 3, Sherlock, Adventure Time, etc, and finding people that feel similarly and share my excitement/joy.

The world can be too big and so small, depending on the day.  We all have our own worlds within the world, that we create and occupy.  My ASMR journey has opened my world up---but this doesn't feel overwhelmingly vast---it feels like a little home we have made...I hope that makes sense.  I have so many new friends, and friends who have been with me since the beginning (when I see their user names, I feel comforted because I "know" them).  It has been a pleasure getting to do something I love so much with people I appreciate even more.  I know this is sappy, just let me get it out.  http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m47cv4qT2z1qii6tmo1_400.gif

I am trying to say thank you, but I have never been the best at utilizing words in a way I think best represents my feelings...and so I always feel indebted.  This situation is no different.  I hope you know how happy this has made me, and I will do everything I can to repay you for it.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to try and ASMR you.  Thank you for allowing me to explore different and sometimes weird ways to trigger you (trying new types of role plays, playing with repetitive sounds and words (sksksk, ok, good, perfect, palpate,etc), creating characters that sometimes have devious motives, etc).  Thank you for trying to find the Easter Eggs that I have so much fun hiding in my videos.  Thank you for all the encouragement, support, and friendships you have given me.  Thank you for giving me excuses to play with things again...I can't stress enough how much I have enjoyed revisiting my past.  Thank you for the nostalgia.  Thank you for the laughs.    Thank you for the sleep (fellow content creators).  Thank you for everything.  <3  http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maz9t25vXO1rxmai6o1_250.gif

Sneak Peek of Next Role Play. Can You Guess What It Is?

New Channel Setting and Banner

Youtube is making me convert over to their new Channel Settings :( .  I don't like change very much, but it does give me an opportunity to create some banner art for my channel.  I decided to use a fabulous drawing made for me by a channel subscriber named Celia.  I have edited it some so that it will fit into YouTube's banner specifications.

This is how it would look if you viewed my channel on your tv (the banner portion would only be  a strip through the middle)

I am very grateful for this piece, and I hope that Celia knows that I am still very honored---so much so, that I continue to use her work in my channel.
You can check out the new banner and channel layout here

Sneak Peek Still Of The ASMR Video That Will be Posted Tomorrow

The Ear Exam Video: Why Less Than 40 Mins of Video Took 4 Days to Complete

Ohhhhhhh this video.  I was really excited to do it, because I love doing role plays.  This video didn't want to made though, and so it sabotaged everything electrical that it could.

The first to succumb to the Ear Exam's vendetta was my blow dryer.  I was using it, everything was fine.  I shut it off to get a drink, came back, and found its soul had left its body, never to return.  I can't prove the video had anything to do with this...I just know it in my heart  :P

Next were the dinning room lights.  In my blog entry http://heatherfeatherasmr.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-room-where-i-film-medical-roleplays.html you can see the lighting fixture I have (Haha, one of the lights is out in the picture).  Two lights had been out for a few days, so I drove to the store to replace the bulbs.  I picked up a two pack, drove home, flipped the switch to quickly verify which to bulbs were out---and the rest blew out.  And this was me:  http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/3892988/braveheart-betrayal-o.gif

The last casualty in all of this was my poor poor laptop.  I honestly have no idea what happened.  It was working, then it blue screened of death me.  I am going to have a tech savvy friend look to see if it can be salvaged, but until then, I am using a borrowed laptop that is slow as syrup and has a wonky space bar---soeverythingItypelookslikethis.  http://www.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/standing-in-the-rain-gif.gif

Okay, onto filming.  I had to film this bad boy 3 times.  The first time, my camera decided, "Meh.  I don't feel like seeing you in any way but radioactive orange."  The second time I was actually really pleased with how it went.  Everything felt fluid to me, I was optimistic about it, I started to edit----and found that a pervasive buzzing had corrupted the audio.  I have no idea what made it happen.  I tried to get rid of it in Audacity, but diminishing the buzzing would have ruined the other sounds as well.  SO at 1:30am I did the third take.  It felt pretty good, I popped it on the computer, and saw that I had been trolled by rebellious eye brow hair.

See it?!  Gaaaaaah.  Little things like that drive me crazy. >_<

Now we're at editing. I had filmed sounds for this video days in advance.  The parts where I am in your ears, Lara's moments, the walking, the sound effects---those were recorded separately   I hadn't realized how much work was going to go into layering the sounds.   I know compared to people who make brilliant soundscapes (ASMRByDesign for instance) my sound layering is a walk in the park.  To me though, layering is a slow process.  Advanced ASMRtists will probably scoff when they see this, but this is what I worked on for some 8 hours (video editing included):

Every little line you see is a cut or a piece of audio I added to the video.

Because I am using a HD camera now, the rendering time is longer than it would be otherwise.  The upload time to Youtube is WAAAAAY longer than that.  It took 5-6 hours to upload to the tube today.  I was so channeling Ron Burgundy by the end.  The video and I were not on speaking terms.  http://media.tumblr.com/99f0a2bc2219f5856a11ad5808ac936e/tumblr_inline_mlaxphJ5l01qz4rgp.gif

There you have my tale of woe.  Now here's the awesome thing about making ASMR videos:  as soon as people said that it helped them, all of the angst and frustration I had toward this video melted away.  The reception of a video always puts things in perspective.  If you helped one person sleep, relax, tingle, or smile,  you did your job.  I can't speak for everyone, but I know that many content creators (myself included) know what it's like to not be able to wind down and shut off---so when we succeed in aiding others in doing that, it feels pretty damn good.  Not even my agent of chaos eyebrow hair could ruin that feeling.  :P
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9cb0xftwY1rqkbnx.gif

The Inbox Dilemma

Before I started making content, I used to watch ASMR vids all the time.  Haha, that hasn't changed since starting my own channel, but for a couple years I only had the perspective of a consumer.  If I commented on a video I loved, and the person wrote back to me---it made me so happy.  I wrote to Maria once after finding ASMR through her, and using her vids to conk out every night, and she wrote back to me---and it made my night.  I was with a friend, and started shrieking "MARIA WROTE TO ME, MARIA WROTE TO ME!" and of course my friend was like "okaaaaay....so?" Same thing happened when I wrote to Amal back in the day.   People who don't have ASMR don't understand how the videos help some of us.  They help where nothing else can, in a way that nothing else can.

In my real life, I feel indebted to people who help me.  I engage in reciprocal relationships, and try to maintain equality as far as emotional investment and actions are concerned.  I also have a hard time forgetting things---my brain just doesn't let me.  So "letting go" of certain sentiments is difficult for me.  When content creators write to me, or comment on my vids, I still fangirl.  I fangirl all the time...it's ridiculous.  Even ones that I talk to frequently, still make me "squeeee" when I see them in a comment.  I sometimes worry that they won't understand why I get so excited, or so wordy...but my concern always gets overridden by fangirling...fangirling always wins.

Because of my experiences feeling that delight, I try to respond to every person who writes to me.  I feel that if someone takes the time to write to me, I will take the time to write back to them.  Almost all of you don't know that I have had to use a wrist brace for the last few months when I type.  If I don't, my pinky and ring finger start KILLING, and the pain travels down the outside of my hand and forearm.

Recently I had to make the decision to stop responding to inbox messages on Facebook and Youtube.  This still causes me to feel a sense of guilt and inadequacy.  If I had more hands, or more time, this wouldn't be a problem---but I don't, and I had to decide to maintain a healthy balance between my Youtube and personal life, and my physical health (as far as my hand goes).

I want to keep being able to respond to people for as long as possible.  The inboxes are hard to navigate, as you have to open and read through much longer messages (so responses tend to be longer as well).  The time that goes into reading messages is much greater than it is for comments, and I have to sift through a lot of inappropriate messages to get to the ones from the right people.  I know that it is the best decision for me.  I know that if another content creator was going through the same "struggle" with it, I would tell them they need to do what's right for them.  Knowing those things still doesn't take away my feelings of guilt.  I am a weird girl...some of you might have suspected by now, ahaha.  I feel things sometimes in persistent and unreasonable amounts...especially when it comes to debts.  I feel like the people who watch my vids, and encourage and support me, help me immensely --so I feel like not being able to respond through every venue is a failure to repay a debt.  And that feeling sucks.

I wrote this because I wanted people to understand that my not writing back to inbox messages isn't because I don't value their words, or the time they took to create them.  I just can't do it all.  I still try to respond to every comment on youtube, facebook, and reddit.  I hope those who read this little blog understand what I'm trying to convey.

Since this entry was kind of serious, here's a saucy Troll Cat pic to hopefully make you smile.




The LSP image was provided under a Creative Commons license at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mooshuu/5974838531/  image by Mooshuu

New Blooper Channel - FeatherBrainedASMR

Hi everyone!

I love making videos for you guys but I'm sure you can tell by now that I'm a bit spazzy, and my cats are more than a bit diabolical.  I have plenty of face palm moments while making vids, and up until now I have edited most of those moments out.  I love seeing other people's bloopers though, and I after showing some on facebook (because this blog won't let me post any long vids), and getting feedback that people couldn't view the vids because of the player facebook uses, I decided to make a separate channel.   I will use this channel to post the longer bloopers, and maybe an occasional vlog (but don't hold me to that  :P).

FeatherBrainedASMR on youtube

Here's my first Blooper Video featuring troll cat!