Thursday, November 28, 2013

You're not a purple frog.

Hello everyone.  I wanted to write this after seeing some of my asmrtist friends getting down about the kinds of comments trolls (or just malicious people in general) can leave.  This entry is not just for asmrtists though---it's for anyone who has gotten down after being called names, or labeled by another person.

If you watched my Draw My Life video, you know that I grew up with a terrible person.  This person tried to do everything he could to break my soul (and my mother's as well).  One of the things he used to do was yell curses at me, and call me names.  It was hard for me to understand why someone would be so cruel---especially someone who I never harmed.  It's easy to take on feelings of guilt or inadequacy when someone is trying to groom you into feeling less than you're worth.  

I'd like to share a conversation I had with my mother that has always stuck with me. One day my mom sat with me when I was feeling down.  This is what transpired:

My mom asked, "What if he called you a purple frog?  Would you care?"  I said "no."  She asked "why?"  I said "Because I'm not a purple frog."  She said "So why do you care about anything else he says?  You know what you are.  He can't make you be anything else, unless you believe him."  

It can suck when people make it a point to try to get under your skin, or hurt you.  It is important to remember that these people, who have nothing constructive, helpful, or valuable to offer, don't deserve relevance.  They can say whatever they want---and sometimes they will---but only you can give them the power to matter to you.  Don't give them that.  You are who you are, and no one can turn you into something else.  

I know it's easier said than done, and there is a lot that we have to navigate with sometimes---especially if the hurtful things people say to us are rooted in our pasts.  It doesn't matter how old we get, scars stay with you.  At some point, it is my hope that you will be able to look at them, and instead of seeing an injury, see evidence of survival.  They're battle scars.  They're there to remind you that you made it.

You're not a purple frog---and you'll never be a purple frog, unless you give someone relevance they didn't earn, and power they don't deserve.  But you are a warrior.  You've made it this far, and you'll get even farther---because you can.   You have it in you.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  Be safe.  I am thankful that you exist.


  1. It's just a sad fact of life that there can be no good without bad, and that some of the best people in the world had to deal with some of the worst.

    Thank you for realizing the importance of sharing the good in you with others who need it. Such notions are not as common as one would like to think, though I like to believe we will some day be better than what we are now.

    Happy Thanksgiving, Heather!

  2. This is so for me, thank you Heather <3

  3. Thanks Heather - you are a sweet soul - Happy Thanksgiving!

  4. Being a self centered person, as probably most are. And being prone to commenting and being misunderstood. I would like to clarify a couple of comments. Just in case they somehow led to this. First, and most important, my view on alcohol (and other drugs). I knew this girl (a lady now) who can't spend Thanksgiving with her family, any more. That is because (when she was in her mid teens to early twenties) her mother, her aunt, her uncle, her grandparents, died from regular use of alcohol. I used to go to their house for a Thanksgiving feast. Most of them were very warm friendly people. So I will never say that alcohol is cute or cool.
    On a less serious note when I challenged your 'throne' it was a line from a movie. Hint:
    "I am bad and that's good. I will never be good and that's not bad. There is no one I would rather be than me."
    For you I would dive into that cola pool. I hope you have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving.

  5. this article shows yet another reason why I love you (non-stalkery appreciative way) wise words and a kind heart.

  6. ..."for anyone who has gotten down after being called names, or labeled by another person"....I think that includes me. Thanks for being so kind. I don't know why I always feel inadequate and guilty. It's like I was always wrong things that everyone seems to know perfectly. But it is a kind of rebellion, not to accept reality as it is. Especially since those who were resigned to it see you as a painful memory and wish that you too give up. Do not give up. Until victory, always! Thank you very much!

    1. Hey Pablo,

      EVERYONE has an opinion. When you realize that all it is, is an opinion, you free yourself from judgement. Only you know who you truly are, and you can't please everyone (it's just not possible). Nothing about us is permanent. Who you are is who you are at this very moment, not yesterday or tomorrow. Don't get stuck in becoming better, or more secure, or more confident. Just be who you want to be now and the rest will follow.

      Best wishes, and keep watching Heather's channel. She has beauty and wisdom beyond compare!


  7. I want to run to whereveryouare and glomp you for this post....nd your general awesomeness .