Give Me Tiiiiime

It's been a rough week for me, and the next one is likely to be as well.  I have some pretty cool stuff I am working on, but I am struggling to find the time to do them all in the time frame necessary.  Part of the problem is the rendering time on my laptop.  It takes about 20 mins to render a 5 min clip.  Multiply that but 10 or 15 clips, and that's my render time for each video.  I think I am going to have to invest in a new computer, and it saddens me to have to spend more money...but I am also excited to have some time back in my hands to get ahead of myself, go back out in the world, and sleep hahaha.  A lot of you may have seen me up at unholy hours---many times, that's me rendering.  In fact, I am writing this while rendering.  This is my Saturday night.

I am not the only person who works hard on their videos.  Lots of people put money into their channels, but I think sometimes we forget about how much time goes into making a video.  Time can often be more valuable.  We talk to a camera instead of talking to the people we love.  We stay inside monitoring the progress on a screen instead of feeling the sun.  We make insane messes (prepping and executing videos) that require clean up and work, instead of kicking back and relaxing on the couch.

And we do this because we love it.  But sometimes it's hard not to get overwhelmed by how much time there isn't to do all the other things we love as well.  Add that to the negative feedback people can leave, and it sometimes can feel like people are saying you wasted your time.  I have seen a lot of content creators getting down over comments from trolls, and I although I might be part troll (on my mother's side), I'm not immune to being annoyed at the recent influx of negativity.  As ASMR becomes more talked about/known, the viewers will increase, and so will the trolls.  When there are a lot of them, it makes it harder to keep giving your time so willingly.  It becomes a chore.

This is why I treasure supportive comments so much.  What may take a person a few seconds to write, helps keep my head in a positive place.  Every supportive comment translates into "your time is worth something to me, so much so, that I am giving up some of mine to watch it and write this."  That's a special kind of exchange.  It means something.

So I guess what this ramble amounts to, is appreciation for all those giving their time; content creator and viewer alike.  If you are a viewer, thank you so much for making this experience feel like a beautiful use of my time.  If you are an asmrtist, thank you for helping me stop time and rest.  I value the seconds, minutes, and hours, you all give up to make others happier.  

"Time flies like an arrow;  fruit flies like a banana."---Anthony Oettinger